Have you ever shown your vagina to a white woman while on zoom? Well, I have and it was not at all what you'd think. This past October, I signed up for a BodySex Workshop by legendary feminist and sex educator Betty Dodson. Typically, BodySex workshops are weekend-long small group classes, however, due to Covid, it's now held virtually. BodySex is a masturbation workshop for women by a woman. I first heard about BodySex and Betty Dodson from a fellow Black Sex Educator friend that attended an in-person BodySex class. I was intrigued by her experience and wanted to try it for myself. Then when the Netflix show The Goop Lab, featured Betty and Carlin Ross--Betty's business partner and now President of the Betty Dodson Foundation--I knew I had to attend.
I eagerly signed up for the virtual one on one class . By this time, Betty's health was failing and she was no longer able to teach (she passed away a few weeks after I signed up) as a result Carlin has taken over teaching BodySex. In a typical, BodySex workshop women get naked, sit in a circle, learn about vulvas and masturbate together. Since mine was a one on one experience it would only be Carlin and I. The first day of our session Carlin taught all about the female anatomy, to include the exterior and interior clitoris, I am pretty well versed in the female anatomy so this wasn't new information. The next session, however, was where it got interesting--the Genital Show And Tell Day. As imagined, I was pretty nervous going into it because I have never shown my vagina on screen to someone I wasn't sexually involved with. Carlin did an excellent job of easing my anxiety, she opened the session by talking about the various different types of vulvas. She showed real-life pictures of different vulvas from women of all shades and skin tones. She pointed out what made each vulva uniquely special. After we discussed in detail the differences between the vulvas in the photos, it was now time for me to show off my own. I propped my laptop between my legs and gave her full view of what Pamela(my mama) and the Good Lord gave me. We looked at mine together and even identified mine based on photos she showed me earlier. At the end of session two, she gave me homework, which was to do a week worth of daily vulva massage. We schedule the day and time for the next session and said our goodbyes.
Session three was probably my toughest session to get through. This was the masturbation session. As open and liberated I feel that I am it was hard for me to masturbate on camera while a stranger watched. As someone who attends sex parties and clubs, I didn't think it would be as hard as it was. I mean I'm okay with people seeing me naked, this should be easy? Wrong! You're probably wondering, what's the point of her watching you masturbate anyway? Well, the purpose of the masturbation session is to guide and assist women to orgasm. Since I didn't fall into that category--I have orgasms all the time, I didn't think it was really essential for me but I went through the process anyway. Carlin started the session off with small talk like she does with every session. She asked me did I have everything I needed--sex toy, lube etc. Once I made sure I had everything I would need, I placed my laptop between my legs, added some lube to my vulva and began using my toy. After about ten minutes or so we stopped because we both realized this was not going to happen, lol. I just couldn't get my mind in the right mental state to enjoy it. All I kept thinking about was there is a white lady watching me. Needless to say, session three ended without the intended outcome and to be honest I was completely fine with that.
We scheduled two more sessions after that, that focused on fantasy, different types of erotica and new masturbation techniques. During my last session, Carlin and I talked about my experience with BodySex and how she would like for me to become certified to teach others. As I explained to her, I think BodySex is a great workshop that most women should experience at least once, because it pushes you outside of your comfort zone. But in order for me to teach it, I would definitely have to tweak a few things and masturbating on zoom would be one of them, lol.