That Time I Went To Go See A Man About A Horse But A Miniature Pony Showed Up.

Updated: Jan 23


What's the smallest penis you've ever seen? If you had to measure it how long would you say it was? What if I told you I actually had sex with a guy who had a Vienna sausage sized penis. Smallest penis I've ever seen was from a guy I meet at a cookout. Stuart Little was tall, dark and handsome. He stood around 6'3, had long flowing locs and the prettiest smile. He had noticed me and a friend introduced us. He seemed nice, had great conversation and was intelligent...everything you would want in a man. We exchanged numbers that night and talked every day after. It was perfect or so I thought. Our official first date was a few weeks after. We met for dinner and then we went back to his place. I was really excited to spend time with him because for weeks he was telling me how good he was going to eat my pussy (this was red flag number 1, but I clearly missed it).


We get back to the room and it's about to go down. He turned the lights off, but before he turns the light completely off he starts to undress and takes off his boxers and I get a glimpse of the "situation". I remember thinking to myself "Wow, that's small", but me being optimistic thought but he's probably a grower. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term grower, growers are those penises that appear to be small when flaccid, but oh baby, when that blood gets to flowing they grow to be very mature in size. However, COMMA, as I would later find out, this was not one of those situations.


In true small penis man form, Stuart loved to eat pussy. Sidebar, you can always tell when a dude's penis game gone be weak by how eager he is to eat your pussy. It's like when someone becomes blind their sense of hearing become 10x stronger. That must be how it works for men who are born with little penis syndrome , their pussy eating ability is almost heaven sent. I guess if you can't get dicked down you can at least get licked away. Anywho he was done exploring downtown he wanted me to return the favor. Up until this point I had completely forgotten about Mr. Stuart Little Jr and was ready to show him what I could do. Y'all.....y'all have you ever tried to suck a tootsie roll? Imagine trying to give head to a cocktail shrimp, it gives new meaning to the phrase, "look ma no hands." When I tell you his dick was too small to suck, I honestly didn't know what to do. Do I flick it with my tongue like it's a long clit? Do I suck on it like a peppermint?? Somebody needed to help me because I was at a lost.


After about five minutes of pretending I knew what the hell I was doing, I decided to climb on top because riding had to be better than sucking or so I thought. It was on that day that I learned my knees won't worth a damn. You think trying to pop pussy on a big dick is hard, try having to squat down on a pig in a blanket. Let's just say it was a long drop and after having to keep putting Stuart Jr back in repeatedly I was over it. I hopped off rolled over and went to sleep. The next day , I left and that was the last time I saw Stuart. Ironically he still texts me from time to time, thinking it's a possibility of us linking up again. Stuart has a better chance of becoming the President of Mars before he ever sniffs this again. So yea fuck all yall that says size doesn't matter, because yes the hell it does!

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