If you have a sex question you can email me at ashley@sexwithashley.com or DM me on social media.
Q: Hello,
I need tips on anal, please. I’ve had it done “right” once and I enjoyed it. I’ve had it done the “wrong” way and it hurt also had slight bleeding. Can you suggest positions and products for me to use so this won’t happen again?
A: Hey Girl, Hey!
Anal sex can be very enjoyable when performed correctly. The key to great anal is to start off slow by doing finger play first, especially if anal isn’t apart of your regular routine. Have your partner stick as many fingers in your anus that you’re comfortable with. This can be done one at a time or multiple fingers at once, whatever fills the most comfortable for you, do that. Next, after you have graduated from fingers, try to insert a butt plug or anal beads. Plugs and beads come in various sizes so start with the smallest then move up to larger. Remember the smaller the penis or toy the better, especially for beginners.
Another important key is to relax, being relaxed and not tense will create a more pleasurable experience. A good technique for relaxing is to masturbate during penetration. Using a vibrator while receiving back door entry helps you to focus on the pleasure and less on the penetration. It is extremely important when having anal sex to double, triple and quadruple the lube! You can never use enough because your anus does not make its own lubrication like your vagina, so lube is a must. Lastly, use condoms even if this is a monogamous relationship because you never want to go from anal to vaginal. Using condoms will act as a barrier from bacteria and faecal matter.
Q: Hi Ashley,
I want a little more variety in my sex life with my boyfriend. He’s not the most well-endowed and he's a Teddy bear man that has a belly that kind of gets in the way. What other sexual positions can we do and how can I approach him with it without hurting his feelings
A: Hey Girl, Hey!
There are several things you can do to get a little more variety in your sex life. the first one is communication. It's all in how you say it. Men ego's around sex can be very fragile, so we have to be careful to use the right language to ensure our words are received properly. Talk with him about new positions you may want to try and talk about how fun you think they will be. Show him pictures if you have some available for visuals. Also, incorporate sex toys, talk with him about his comfort level surrounding the using sex toys. Sex toys can bring a lot of variety to the bedroom. Another way to spice it up is to take a trip to a local sex store together and pick out a few things for you to try as a couple.
There are a few positions you can try that are perfect for overweight lovers. Traditional Missionary is one of the most popular and versatile positions you can try. Add a pillow as a prop and it will make just about any configuration of the giver on top/receiver on the bottom position easy-peasy.