Masturbation the act of self-pleasuring, or sometimes referred to as solo sex; is a scared time that I spend alone with my favorite three people—me, myself and I. Masturbation is my time, I enjoy it, it's my personal self-care routine. However a few months ago, my special “me” time started becoming "our" time. In efforts to spend more quality time with my partner during Corona, I introduced the concept of virtual masturbation sessions. What is virtual masturbation? Virtual Masturbation is a term I use for video sex. Basically I facetime or video messenger myself masturbating while my partner watches on the other end, sounds cool right? Yea, it was cool at first but then over time I began to miss my "me" time. I mean the whole concept of masturbation is to become one with yourself.
In efforts to reclaim my time back like Auntie Maxine, I explained to my partner that I no longer wanted to share this part of my life with him anymore or at least not so often. He of course didn't understand why I didn't want to include him because as he says, "all I have to do is just lay the phone down while he watches.", as true as that statement may be, the honest reason is, I just don't want to. Sexual self-care is a dedicated practice for my wellbeing that helps to bring me back to focus. Masturbating keeps me in touch with my own body and mind. It helps me to fall asleep when I'm restless. It even helps me unwind after a stressful day. And if for no other reason it’s a time for self-reflection and cherishing myself in private. It’s nourishing – physically and mentally and I don't want to share it. Selfish, sure you can say that, but aren't we allowed to be selfish with somethings. My partner doesn't automatically get access to every aspect of my sexuality because we are in a sexual relationship. There are still certain things I want to keep just for me, and masturbation is one of those things.